Excerpt : Relationships and Sex

We both married as unbelievers, now I’m converted to Christianity, my husband is hardened and adamant, he comes home drunk, he has broken bottle on me several times and he has defiled the matrimonial bed. What should I do?

Response

The heart of the king is owned by God, so the heart of every man is also owned by Him, the Bible says “there is nothing impossible for God to do”. Talk to God about him and your desires, what you want God to do in the situation. God will heal him and also buy back time for him, if you sincerely pray.

Now that you know Christ, behold all things are new, you stopped sharing same life, interest and desire, you left him to his life of unbelief and sin. Now you have become a stranger to what both of you  used to like and probably enjoy.

You need to understand that he does not have what it takes to change on his own or by his effort, because the devil is the master and also controls the affairs of the unbeliever, he may not see wrong in what he does unless he's convicted by the gospel.

You also need to know that, you cannot change a man, the gospel is self potent to change him. A man soaked in addiction and sin cannot see the light nor understand it, such man is dead spiritually and cannot understand change or can he also help himself.

 Try not to condemn him but in reality truth has to be said in love. Let him know that you have changed from that life you were living. Talk to him about your faith in Christ and your experience in Christ. Try not to be judgmental but let him know that his health may be endangered. Talk to him about the psychological effect of all he is doing and ask him who takes care or take the responsibility when it becomes worse.   

In case he is not positive in his response, give him space of time to ponder. If he is headstrong about the whole issue, you can inform his family, though hardly will you see his friend or family member that will be so frank with you. After then, you may need to separate not divorce, but you need to take a bold step and hold on to your decision.

Basically the reason why I will suggest separation is that, since he gets home drunk and has broken bottle on you several times, then it can be said that he is not in control of himself and his emotions. His new attitude can hurt or even kill you, then, how can you be fulfilled as a Christian when you are hurt or dead?  

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