Excerpt : Relationships and Sex

Love is the purification of the heart from self. It strengthens and enables the character, gives a higher motive and worthier aim to every action of life, and makes both man and woman courageous. To love abundantly is to live abundantly and to love forever is to live forever.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. However, a couple greatly increases their chances of having a good relationship if they both:

Believe in God

Have same religion and accept each other’s doctrines

 Have good self esteem

Have important values and interests in common

 Have well-developed personalities

Communicate honestly and effectively

Have compatible levels of sexual desire

Have positive body image

Agree on appropriate gender roles

Agree on the sexual activities you want to explore

If any of these qualities is missing, developing a healthy, satisfying relationship will be more difficult. If you've ever been in a relationship that involved sexual activity, you know that sex changes individuals in relationships. If you've been in this kind of situation, how did your relationship change after you started having sex? If not, how do you think sex might change your relationship? What effect would you like your relationship to have on your sexuality? How do you think your sexuality might affect your relationship?

Mutuality in marriage is very important because it is the reason couples experience happiness and they will also achieve a lot together because they are in agreement with each other. No wealth or splendor, no gorgeous equipage or apparel, no magnificence of entertainment or sweetness of music can make one happy in marriage, it is achieved when the couples work together in understanding.                                                                                                                                            
There is no surer tie between friends than when they are united in their objects and wishes. The union of husband and wife must be ideally perfect, the tenderness love on one side and loving obedience on the other.

Roughness and strength go hand in hand; so likewise do beauty and frailty. The female has what the man wants-beauty and delicacy. The male has what the female wants-courage and strength.

There is no surer tie between friends than when they are united in their objects and wishes. The union of husband and wife must be ideally perfect, the tender love on one side and loving obedience on the other.

In the closing passage of the book of Proverbs, the pen of inspiration has given for the instruction of all ages, the character of a virtuous woman, such as every wise man will choose for his companion in life, was given. It consists not in the fascination of outward accomplishments, which are too often united with idleness, prodigality and a selfish, contentious spirit; but rather in industry, good management, authority over her household and the spirit of love and kindness. Such a woman will confer honour upon her husband, and make him prosperous and happy; however she may be undervalued by those who are too ignorant to understand the worth of a woman.

A virtuous woman is a woman of strength, though the weaker vessel, yet made strong by wisdom and grace and the fear of God. A virtuous woman is a woman of spirit, who has the command of her own spirit and knows how to manage other people, one that is pious and industrious and a help mate of her husband. A virtuous woman is a woman of resolution, who, having espoused good principles, is firm and steady to them and will not be frightened with winds and clouds from any part of her duty.

 Who can find her? This intimates that good women are very scarce and many that seem to be so do not prove so. But he that desires to marry ought to seek diligently for such a one and to take heed that he is not biased by beauty or gaiety, wealth or parentage, dressing well or dancing well; for all these may be and yet the woman is not virtuous. There are so called many virtuous women yet are not recommended by these advantages.

She is very industrious to recommend herself to her husband's esteem and affection. Those that are good really will be good relatively. A good woman, if she be brought into the marriage state, will be a good wife and make it her business to please her husband, 1Corinthians 7:34. Though she is a woman of spirit herself, yet her desire is to her husband.

She is guided and governed by principles of conscience and a regard to God; this is that which is here preferred far before beauty [that is vain and deceitful]. Beauty recommends none to God, nor is it any certain indication of wisdom and goodness, but it has deceived many men who have made their choice of a wife by it.  The fear of God reigning in the heart is the beauty of the soul; it recommends those that have it to the favour of God. It will last forever and bid defiance to death itself, which consumes the beauty of the body, but consummates the beauty of the soul.

Her husband thinks himself so happy in her that he takes all occasions to speak well of her. It is not indecent at all, but a laudable instance of conjugal love, for husbands and wives to give one another their due praises. Virtue will have its praise, [Phil. 4:8]. A woman that fears the Lord shall have praise of God. She shall be highly praised Prov. 31:3. 

A suitable wife is a helpmate and is from the Lord. Many daughters, in their father's house and in the single state, have done virtuously, but a good wife, if she be virtuous, excels them all and does more good in her place.

 Unbridled passions embitter and spoil the comfort of all relations. A peevish, angry wife makes her husband's life uneasy.

 An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband. God has a good and great plan for your life. Don’t even date, let alone marry an unbeliever. Some think that they can go out with someone who is not a Christian, without letting it get serious. You can’t stop yourselves falling in love in a long-term relationship so don’t make it harder on yourself and fall for the wrong one: don’t miss God’s best.  

People who have married unbelievers found that they cannot share their walk with the Lord with their spouse. It causes them great pain and they are not able to serve God properly. Let alone be fulfilled in the plan and purpose of God for their life.