Excerpt: Relationships and Sex

Married Relationship

Relationships, in the form of marriage or cohabitation, become prevalent now. Relationships have a powerful effect on our sexuality. If, for example, we're in a close, respectful, loving relationship, we'll feel and act very differently than if we're in an abusive relationship. Men and women most times enter adulthood with some real misconceptions about sexuality and the role of sex in a relationship. Young men often fear that anything that borders on sensitivity will be interpreted as being somehow ‘unmanly’ and thus represent inappropriate behaviour for a ‘real’ man. Women believe that the only part of intimacy that matters to men is the sexual intercourse part.

Apostle Paul does not give a low view of marriage, but is merely answering questions put to him about life in Corinth; He informs them 1Corinthians 7:2 ‘I speak this by permission, not of command, Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”. And not some women only; he did not exempt anyone, neither priest nor nun, but everyone is here permitted, yea, for avoiding fornication, commanded, to marry. The word fornication is used here in the large sense of licentiousness in general. For the sake of the purity of society and to avoid the evils of sensual indulgence and the corruptions and crimes which attend an illicit intercourse, it is proper that the married state should be entered.

It is easy to say 'I do' when love is fresh and exciting. But when the confetti has been swept away, the wedding dress embalmed and your friends suddenly stop calling because they don't want to interfere, you are left alone to grapple with the enormity of becoming a couple.

Marriage is the permanent union, by intention of a man and a woman for the purpose of mutual companionship and procreation. It is a life time investment and care must be taken to ensure its success.

God graciously resolved to provide society for the man He made. The result of this reasoning concerning him was this kind resolution, “I will make a help-mate for him”; a help like him, one of the same nature and the same rank of beings; one to cohabit with him and to be always by him; one that he should look upon with pleasure and delight.

Marriage is a state of mutual obligations. So couples must yield to one another in marriage, the main purpose of marriage is mutual love for one another.

Gen 2:22 “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her unto the man”. Verse23. “And Adam said, ‘this is now bone of my bones”. In token of his acceptance of her, he gave her a name, “Then Adam called her Woman--Isha; in Hebrew, man is Ish; woman, Isha, the feminine of man, not peculiar to her, but common to her sex; she shall be called woman, Isha, a “she man”, differing from man in sex, natural design and function, not in nature. The manner in which and the object for which woman was made, show that the husband and wife should love each other with tender affection; cultivate union of views, interest and effort; and mutually seek each other's highest good.

Solomon says of all men in Eccl. 4:9, “two are better than one and woe to him that is alone”. If there were but one man in the world, what a melancholy man must he be. Perfect solitude would turn a paradise into a desert and a palace into a dungeon. It is a pleasure for him to exchange knowledge and affection with those of his own kind, to inform and to be informed, to love and to be beloved.

Mat19:6 “What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder” not even your parents or anybody should come in between husbands and wives and either of you can also create space between yourselves, you cannot also relegate your spouse’s suggestions and take to your parents or friends. Great care should be taken not to interrupt or weaken affection between man and wife, but it should be done with love and most be cherished. 1Cor7:3 “let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise the wife unto the husband” when you render to each what is due yourselves, you are closing the gap of allowing external influence like lust and all forms of ill advice from people, adultery, fornication, cheating on each other and you are also fulfilling the word of Jesus Christ.

Deuteronomy 24:5 -13 It is of great consequence that love be kept up between husband and wife; that they carefully avoid everything which might make them strange one to another. This was suited to increase and render more permanent conjugal affection and thus render the family state more useful and happy.

Marriage is an ordinance of divine appointment and a means of great usefulness and happiness. Marriage, according to the will of God, is a union for life of one man with one woman, the fact that it is a divine institution, shows that men should enter into it for the glory of God in the promotion of their own happiness and usefulness. Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, there shall be, by the order of God, a more intimate connection formed between the man and woman, and they shall be one flesh. These words may be understood in this sense, These two shall be one flesh, shall be one body, having no separate or independent rights, privileges, cares, concerns, each being equally interested in all things that concern the marriage state and the two shall be for the production of one flesh.

God made the woman out of the man, to intimate the closest union and the most affectionate attachment, that should exist in the matrimonial connection, so that the man should always consider and treat the woman as a part of himself as no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and supports, so should a man deal with his wife; and on the other hand the woman should consider that the man was not made for her, but that she was made for the man being from him, therefore, the wife should see that she reverence her husband.

We are from different backgrounds, colours, culture and we have differing beliefs, our socio-economic standards are different, some are affluent, others are not. For those that have close backgrounds like culture and beliefs, their doctrines and policies are different, but the marriage union brings us all together.