Excerpt:Relationships and Sex

 Having a great relationship isn’t a matter of finding the right partner; it’s a matter of being the right partner. If you are in a relationship or looking for a relationship, you can start by becoming a good partner, working on things that are within your power to change. Consider the likely things you’d like to work on to become a good partner.

You need to grow to know God’s mind about dating

You need to develop better self esteem

You need to clarify your own values

You need to develop a more positive body image

You need to develop positive personality

You need to clarify how you feel about gender roles

 You need to develop effective communication skills

You need to start thinking about the options you want to explore in the relationship.

We learn about how to be in relationships by watching others close to us and by experimenting in our own relationships. We can improve our relationship skills by actively working on them. Books can help, and so can talking to a friend, clergy, teachers, counselors, or other trusted persons.

Countless studies show that people are attracted to people with high self-esteem. If a woman genuinely believes in herself, not with arrogance of uncertainty, but with a calm inner security, people are drawn to her like a magnet.

It’s pretty clear how a lack of confidence can drag one down. The most obvious sign is that you don’t feel good, you sometimes doubt yourself, maybe criticize yourself, feel pessimistic, and feel shy about challenges. At work, you may down rate your own abilities; because you let others outperform you, or hold back from taking responsibilities.

There are all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about how unbelievers date. Christians needs to have a different attitude on dating. However, even among Christians there are differences as to whether you should or not date. The choice is up to you and your parents, Christian needs to know God’s perspective on dating. Unbelievers have a different perspective on dating. You see the magazines, TV shows, and movies that encourage you that you should date a lot of people before you get married. You see certain “role models” jumping from one dating relationship to another.

 God has a will, instead of jumping from one relationship to another. He is clear on whom you should date and why you should date? When it comes to Christian dating, you live according to a different standard ‘God’. Yet it’s not just about following the rules, there are some solid reasons why God asks us to live a certain way, and dating is no different.

What I need to know about marriage before dating

Most times when we make wrong decisions, our values become less important, this happen possibly because we need to make a quick decision and so we jeopardize our existence.  One so called simple decision we make can debar our progress for a long time or for our life time. In marriage, it could mean that your happiness and fulfillment are at stack. What happens then to you when you are not fulfilled and never for once be happy?

Whenever I talk to fellow believers about marriage, I hear different doctrines on marriage. What is the standard for us Christians? Should we do things outside the Scriptures? If Scriptures have to be believed, then these are the basic things we need to know about marriage before dating.

I need to be know that I must do all things to fulfill God’s purpose and plan for creation, because marriage itself is a means to fulfillment of God’s will. What is God’s purpose of creation and how does it relate to marriage? The Bible says, God created man for the pleasure of His worship, He created man and woman, what was God’s idea for creating male and female of all living creatures? I must be able to answer the question about creation and reason for my existence before deciding on marriage, I must understand God’s purpose in marriage and also know who I can and cannot get married to.

How can a Christian live a fulfilled life when he or she marries an unbeliever? How can you cope with someone that seems to be your enemy ‘unbeliever’ because he receives not the gospel of Jesus Christ?

What is God’s intention about marriage? Since it is not possible a baby or a child gets married, then it is meant for the adults, for this reason man shall leave his father’s house and shall cling to a woman and they shall be one, they share mutuality because, they are one in matrimony, they are both born-again, they both believe in the supremacy of God and they both share a doctrine about what they believe and they have come to an understanding about things in life.

I have heard some Christian ladies say, I will change him, because they are becoming desperados, so they marry unbelievers. For those who are thinking alongside, I want you to consider how
unhappy you can be, for example when you are in Church and your spouse is in a palour drinking, what about when you are praying and he comes to harass you that you are disturbing him with your prayers, the worst, he said you must stop going to Church, not ready to receive any of your Church members at home and also not to see any bible in the house, expect anything from an unbeliever.

We often fall in lies of I love you, it’s chemistry at work, love at foresight, we called it different names, I am not doubting the fact that we are attracted to people and also to the opposite sex but it is not enough to conclude or interpret it for a dating relationship. How can somebody who does not understand God who is Love, understands what love is, do not be quick to forget that love is an expression of God to Humanity, how can an unbeliever who does not understands Love knows how to express it towards people.    

In summary, I need to understand the following,

I must understand God’s purpose for creation and the reason for the gospel,

I must understand that I am on earth to live a fulfilled life as a Christian,

I must understand what mutuality is,

I must have an idea of what I want and what I want to explore in the relationship.